Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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