Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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