Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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