do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
