Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
