It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize