And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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