I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
