you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
