put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
