I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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