I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
