did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
