i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize