He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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