your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
