its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
