By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
