So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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