At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
