So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dicks are not precious.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
