After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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