she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
In America we eat man semen.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
