have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
