when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
