I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
