I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
