Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
