I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
honey bunches of taint.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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