All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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