I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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