cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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