I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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