I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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