Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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