i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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