does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
