Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
