roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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