Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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