3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
