just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
