I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
