Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She's just so happy...and so naked.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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