I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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