Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
