This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What a dumb baby whore.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
