what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
