where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
