you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
