Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
