My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
