i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dignity is for republicans.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
