Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
